It’s time for another installment of America’s best advice column.
Our 12 year old son Tyler is developmentally disabled. Tyler’s learning center has a Special Olympics program and we (along with his teachers) have been encouraging him to participate. Every time we bring it up to him, however, Tyler pushes back and becomes very withdrawn. We love Tyler very much and don’t want to force him into it, but we think the Special Olympics would be a terrific experience and help him conquer his shyness and introversion. Do you have any suggestions for helping him get past this fear?
Jean and Ted in Westmont
Dear Jean and Ted:
As you know I am a big fan of the Special Olympics program, and all the good things it does for young Mongoloid-Americans like your son. Nothing inspires more than the sight of these heroic young tards hilariously giving it their all in the arena of friendly athletic competition. Extra-chromosome? More like extra-awesome! That’s why I recently volunteered, on the advice of my damage control team, as an equipment manager for the U.S. Special Olympics bowling squad. At first I wasn’t sure how I would feel about polishing other people’s balls for a change, but I think those tards really appreciate what I’ve done for them. Lately they started calling me “Special O.”