It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

It’s that time of year again. This year’s Bulwer-Lytton winner has been announced:

Detective Bart Lasiter was in his office studying the light from his one small window falling on his super burrito when the door swung open to reveal a woman whose body said you’ve had your last burrito for a while, whose face said angels did exist, and whose eyes said she could make you dig your own grave and lick the shovel clean.