Buttle's World

7 April, 2009

Nancy Pelosi Goes to Church

Filed under: Posts — clgood @ 9:00

One Saturday afternoon, in Washington, D.C., House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s aide visited the Bishop of St. Matthew’s Cathedral.

He informed the Bishop that Pelosi would be attending the next day’s mass, and asked if the Bishop would kindly point out Pelosi to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Pelosi a saint.

The Bishop scoffed. “No. I don’t really like the woman, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Pelosi’s views.” The aide countered, “Look. I’ll write a check here and now for a donation of $100,000 to your Archdiocese if you’ll just tell the congregation you see Pelosi as a saint.”

The Bishop mulled it over and replied, “Well, the church can use the money. You have my word.”

Sure enough, Pelosi appeared for the Sunday mass and seated herself prominently along the main aisle.

During the sermon, as promised, the Bishop pointed out that House Speaker Pelosi was present.

The Bishop went on to explain to the congregation, “While Speaker Pelosi’s presence is doubtless an honor to some, she is far from being my favorite person. Some of her views are contrary to those of the church, and she tends to flip-flop on many other views. Nancy Pelosi is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker, and a nit-wit.

“She has a reputation for shirking her Representative obligations both in Washington, and in California. She simply is not to be trusted.”

“Nancy Pelosi is a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief.”

“In sum, Nancy Pelosi is the worst example of a Catholic I have ever personally witnessed.”

“But,” he added, “when compared to Harry Reid, Pelosi is a saint.”

Updated and bumped:

But wait! There’s more!


The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years he had faithfully served the people of the nation’s capital. He motioned for his nurse to come near.

“Yes, Father?” said the nurse. “I would really like to see Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi before I die”, whispered the priest. “I’ll see what I can do, Father” replied the nurse.

The nurse sent the request to them and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived. Harry and Nancy would be delighted to visit the priest. As they went to the hospital, Harry commented to Nancy “I don’t know why he wants to see us, but it will certainly help our images.” Nancy couldn’t help but agree.

When they arrived at the priest’s room, the priest took Nancy’s hand in his right hand and Harry’s hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest’s face.

Finally Nancy spoke. “Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?”

The old priest slowly replied, “I have always tried to pattern my life after my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.”

The old priest continued…

“He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same.”


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