Deadpan News Copy OTD

Straight-faced shennanigans from the Associated (with terrorists) Press.

It is unclear why the grenade was in the house.

How Cowards Fight

Here’s a look at how the Islamic cowards of Hamas ensured maximum civilian casualties – among their “brethren” – during Operation Cast Lead.

You really have to be suspicious of any religion that builds sniper towers on every church.

When Do His Chickens Come Home to Roost?

I know we’re barely into the Chosen One’s administration, but everything about “Jimmy Carter on Speed” goes fast. Mario Loyola makes the case that His absurd mis-handling of the CIA so-called torture memos and threatened prosecution of Bush administration officials may be the beginning of His inevitable undoing.

Obama’s unerring sense of immediate political advantage has led him to adopt two positions that are ultimately incompatible. On the one hand, just like Dulles, he abets the impression that crimes were committed by the previous administration, insinuating that we “lost our moral compass” and that our government abandoned “the rule of law” and that he’s going to restore both. But on the other hand, he realizes that he has nothing to gain from doomed attempts at prosecution (because there really is no case) so he comes up with the rhetorical device of “we must look forward, not backwards.”

The contradiction has angered Obama’s left-wing base. The Left is entirely correct to object that if crimes were committed, “I wanna look forward” is hardly a reason not to prosecute them. By punting the question of prosecuting senior officials over to the Justice Department, Obama hopes to be rid of the vexing issue once and for all. But the move was only a temporary expedient, which enabled Obama to avoid having to choose between (a) defending Bush officials or (b) bringing charges against them.

How to Make a Baby

Please pay attention to this short tutorial.

Saturn Up Close

Stupendous images from Cassini.

And now, Direct from Ukraine!

Give it up for Los Colorados!

But the Nuke Program is Real

Learning to Love Ayn Rand

Tyler Cowan skewers The End of Poverty.

I can only report that The End of Poverty, narrated throughout by Martin Sheen, puts Ayn Rand back on the map as an accurate and indeed insightful cultural commentator. If you were to take the most overdone and most caricatured cocktail-party scenes from Atlas Shrugged, if you were to put the content of Rand’s “whiners” on the screen, mixed in with at least halfway competent production values, you would get something resembling The End of Poverty. If you ever thought that Rand’s nemeses were pure caricature, this film will show you that they are not (if the stalking presence of Naomi Klein has not already done so). If you are looking to benchmark this judgment, consider this: I would not say anything similar even about the movies of Michael Moore.

In this movie, the causes of poverty are oppression and oppression alone. There is no recognition that poverty is the natural or default state of mankind and that a special set of conditions must come together for wealth to be produced. There is no discussion of what this formula for wealth might be. There is no recognition that the wealth of the West lies upon any foundations other than those of theft, exploitation and the oppression of literal or virtual colonies.

Yielding to Ideology Over Science

Ronald Bailey asks the musical question, why don’t environmentalists celebrate modern farming on Earth Day?

The answer is, of course, that environmentalism is a religion. So it’s only interested in science to the extent that it furthers its goals.

Celebrate Diversity

by letting the New York Times go under.

If the Times closed, what would the mainstream media left behind do? Why, they would have to think for themselves. And some of them would still die. But some of them might get …lively, and iconoclastic, and one day even …readable. Not all of them: There would still be plenty of near parodic thumbsucking pomposity for those whose bag that is. But there would be other kinds of papers, too. As the J-school bores say (but rarely do), celebrate diversity!

I Do Not Celebrate “Earth Day”

Because I’m old enough to remember why it’s on April 22nd. But, to counter all the Stalinist Green celebrating let’s mull the idea that the best green for the planet may just be the kind you earn.

You’ll Never Have to Go to Church Again

Not once you’ve heard this sermon! It’s got it all!

(H/T Boblaw)

Ignoring the Laws of Physics

Or: Stuff you never knew you could do with a bicycle.

Putting the Toothpaste Back Into the Tube

Andy Kessler has a clear explaination of what the money supply is and why we’re in for a whole lot of hurt if it just keeps getting bigger.

I like to think of the economy as a giant bucket filled with money (money supply) sloshing around the bucket (velocity). We all hope the bucket is filled to the rim. But, in normal times, the economy grows every year. Population increases, too, so the size of the bucket has to grow to handle the transactions of more people who like to eat and drink. So more money needs to be created to fill the bigger bucket. That’s pretty straightforward.

But now the hard part. Someone is out there inventing something useful, refrigeration, steamships, ATM machines (sic)–something productive that increases the output per worker hour. Productivity increases the size and wealth of the economy above and beyond population growth. How much? Who knows? Still, more money needs to be created to fill the bigger bucket/economy. And to make matters worse, since no one knows what the velocity of money is, no one really knows how much money supply is needed so the economy will work just right. It’s virtually impossible to fill the bucket up just to the rim. The Fed has to guess.

Budget Cuts!

Oh, boy! The Messiah says He wants to cut the budget! What will we do with all the savings? I mean, just look at the size of them!

The Luckiest Man in America

just might be the man who married this girl.

JOTD

A DEA officer stops at a ranch in Montana and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, “I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs.” The old rancher points and says, “Have at it. But stay outta that field over yonder.”

The DEA officer whips out his badge and hisses, “Mister, this badge says I have the authority of the Federal Government with me.” He gets right in the old rancher’s face. “And it says I go wherever I wish, no questions asked. Clear?”

The old rancher nods politely. “Pardon me, sir. I’ll just be tendin’ to my chores.”

A short time later, the rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life with the rancher’s prize bull snorting close behind. With every step the bull gains ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he’ll get “horned” before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified.

The old rancher throws down his tools, dashes to the fence and hollers at the top of his lungs, “Your badge! Show him your badge!”

The Messiah Is Consistent on One Thing

He has crappy friends.

Beauty Is Reason Alone

Enjoy.

Convincing Evidence of Evolution

Throughout the campaign and on into January of this year:

February’s phase II:

March and April “World Apology Tour” theme:

And if that doesn’t convince you, then this certainly won’t.

CNN Hack

Try to watch this bimbo scold a woman for being “antagonistic” without laughing.

I haven’t watched CNN in ages. I have to thank Susan Roesgen for reminding me why.

Update:

Hell hath no fury indeed.

Another Update:

Bill Whittle has a nice video essay on just why media bias matters. For the record, I think 15 points is conservative. Pun intended.

Probably the Last Update:

CNN, class act.

They’ll probably take our copies down, too. If they do, I’ll look for other sites to upload it to, or perhaps try to embed it here on the blog. And I may take Ben Sheffner’s advice and file a DMCA counternotice. If CNN wants to sue me, we can make this a test case.

One of my readers took me to task in the comments for calling Roesgen a “bimbo”. I now realize that I should apologize to bimbos everywhere.

A House Divided

A poll taken in Louisiana on a question that should be no more controversial than “is the sky blue?” had stunningly sad results.

Just in time for the bicentennial observance of Charles Darwin’s birth, a new survey of Louisiana residents shows 40 percent of the respondents believe evolution is not well-supported by evidence or generally accepted within the scientific community. Only 39 percent of the respondents said they believed evolution is well-supported by evidence. Twenty-one percent said they did not know.

That’s almost half the state living in some combination of denial and ignorance. The split even affects the governor’s mansion. On the one hand is Bobby Jindahl, who signed that stealth creationism bill. On the other hand is his wife, Supriya, who just “launched a private foundation to promote math and science education in Louisiana’s classrooms.” Must make for interesting dinner conversation.

Not accepting evolution is one thing, and quite bad enough, but to think that there is any doubt of evolution within the scientific community is just breathtakingly ignorant.

Gee, when even IRS workers see a double standard…

All we need are more “upset and angry” tax collectors.

IRS employees have reported that taxpayers are occasionally citing the Geithner case when they are asked to pay their tax bills. “It’s making the compliance conversation harder,” Kelley said.

Gee, ya think?

Big Money Now!!!

If you aren’t already a fan of Mike Jittlov, this may make you one.

Tea Party

Today’s the day for Tea Parties. Can’t make it to one myself, but this idea struck me as genius:

…at the Greenville, S.C., Tea Party, “They will be selling the ‘Obama burger’ — you pay for one and they cut it in half and give the rest to the guy behind you for free!!”

Update:

I got this map too late for April 15th, but there are likely to be more Tea Parties later in the year.

Thematic Compositing

One of the most clever photographic exercizes I’ve seen: “thematically composited photos of New Yorkers over time but not space”.

All you need is a camera

and a lot of time on your hands.

Book vs. Cover Redux

You may see this coming. Then again, you may not.

I Love the Free Market

In the Better Mousetrap department today we have something to help you keep your valuables from being stolen by the TSA.

It’s a shame it even has to exist, but I hope it’s frustrated a few sticky-fingered whiteshirts.

The Bow

The whole row over The Messiah’s bow in Saudi Arabia is absurd.  Some critics look like they have ODS. Where were the Washington Times’ cries when George W. Bush committed the exact same “shocking display of fealty” to the exact same foreign potentate? In fact, there’s a lot of precedent for bowing presidents.  The bow just looked like a bumbling amateur trying to be polite. Why He was  more polite to some royalty than to other is a fair question, but get a grip, people.

Having said that, I’m getting a real kick out of the Clintonesque response from the White House.

“It wasn’t a bow. He grasped his hand with two hands, and he’s taller than King Abdullah,” said an Obama aide, who spoke on the condition of anonymity.

Clinton had the habit of lying even when the truth wouldn’t hurt him, like denying that he stopped for a cheeseburger when out jogging. The right response should have been, “Yeah, so what? I’m the president of the United States, and if I want a cheeseburger I’ll enjoy one.” Same situation here. The One could just say, “Hey, many presidents before me have made diplomatic bows. So what?”

But He would have to have a clue to do that, I guess.

As for me, I’d certainly give props to any president who refused to bow to anybody. But there’s a lot to criticize Him about without getting deranged.