Lawyers Writing Lawyer Jokes

You just can’t make this stuff up.

A lawyer in Florida filed a motion to force his rival to upgrade to newer shoes, on the grounds that his homely old hush puppies gave him an unfair advantage by projecting an air of unsophisticated honesty to the jury.

Speaking of lawyers, I had some fun recently with a class-action lawsuit notice that came in the mail. The lawyers wanted my permission to get information regarding certain transactions between me and my insurance company, pending the suit being named a class action. There were two forms, one to agree and one to object.

I filled out the objection form, naturally. Where it asked for reasons I wrote:

a) I expect all my transactions to be private. b) I am opposed to class action lawsuits in general. c) I think that trial lawyers are poo-poo heads.

I hope that has to get read aloud at some legal proceeding or another.