Mark Alexander’s column today recounts my favorite Davy Crocket story. It’s one which should be required reading by every member of congress.
Once per week, minimum.
And enjoy this sidebar rant:
In one of his more legendary orations, Crockett proclaimed: “Mr. Speaker … the gentleman from Massachusetts [Mr. Everett] talks of summing up the merits of the question, but I’ll sum up my own. In one word I’m a screamer, and have got the roughest racking horse, the prettiest sister, the surest rifle and the ugliest dog in the district. I’m a leetle the savagest crittur you ever did see. My father can whip any man in Kentucky, and I can lick my father. I can out-speak any man on this floor, and give him two hours start. I can run faster, dive deeper, stay longer under, and come out drier, than any chap this side the big Swamp. I can outlook a panther and outstare a flash of lightning, tote a steamboat on my back and play at rough and tumble with a lion, and an occasional kick from a zebra.”
Crockett continued, “I can take the rag off — frighten the old folks — astonish the natives — and beat the Dutch all to smash, make nothing of sleeping under a blanket of snow and don’t mind being frozen more than a rotten apple. I can walk like an ox, run like a fox, swim like an eel, yell like an Indian, fight like a devil, spout like an earthquake, make love like a mad bull, and swallow a Mexican whole without choking if you butter his head and pin his ears back.”